What do we really care about?

I found a new library at the neighbourhood; it is the Rudolf Steiner Library at Ytterjärna belonging to the local Waldorf Seminar. It seems there is not much going on neither at the seminar nor at the library.

To be honest, I found the library already a year ago but because it was open only once a week and then only two hours, I just could not get myself motivated during those counted minutes to go there…

I had the idea of the book club and poets circle in my head already some months because during my year of living here I have met many who do write poems as I and are thinking about even to write novels.  Some of them are interested of meetings and doing things together. I have felt the need of such activity for a long time already.

This week I met a girl at Nibble. She was also interested at the same things as I was and suggested that we could start here at the Steiner Library. We would also keep the library open as we read or write there ourselves. It sounded as a wonderful idea because I had been lacking motivation to work regularly on my own and now I had the roof over my head and the numerous old books as a source of inspiration and reference and a kind of a network of other people…

Well, I got to the library at last but it was already too late. They are planning to shut it down and use the beautiful house designed for a library for profitable purposes, use it for a project… The plan is to store the books to the cellar and trough away the ones seeming unnecessary today. Can you imagine that? The plan is to kill the beautiful idea of the people who once started building up the Seminar and the local community as it is today.

Is this an attempt to close down the local intellectual antroposophical movement as a whole? Or are we just facing the stupidity combined with the short-term visioning as it exist so often in our modern society?

I looked around at the library building, sat at the benches between the book shells and it seemed so sad. To face the modern cruelty, hear the whispers of money talking, witness history and life works disappear without a moment of hesitation. Just like that and it does not exist anymore. How easy it is?

I have always been the one visiting libraries, having loads of books constantly blocking the way to my bed… It is hard to face this kind of realities. It is hard to be modern man if this is how we as a society meet the inheritance of the ones who were here before us, if this is the way how we want to proceed…

I believe Rudolf Steiner Library has a future. I believe it has a value that demands our respect and care. I do know that there are people who are interested of bringing the library back to life; make it available for local people and even find the ways to make it flourish again. There are students in this area, who are interested in reading and literature, I am sure of that.

What kind of a community is this here in Ytterjärna today? Are we just comfortable people looking for the easiest ways to get more income? Or are we the ones who really carry on the intellectual inheritance of Rudolf Steiner, Goethe and others?

How I started talking to an apple tree and sent out the first seeds

Just today I realised that the world is talking to me more than ever before and there is a strong need to replay. I was going through the forests and everything was suddenly breathing. It was not an abstract idea of nature that is growing, I felt it with my body, I felt it with all my senses. Now I know that trees are alive not because they said so in my biology lessons, I just know because I have seen trees breathing…

There is a great Swedish writer Stig Claesson who describes his discussions with a wise apple tree in a book called “You sleep I will do the dishes”. Sometimes I wish I had my own apple tree to talk to…

I read a book “Women without men” written by a woman from Iran. The novel is about the voiceless women in this violent society, they try to find their way to became alive. In one episode she writes about a woman who grows herself roots and after a while branches and then the leaves come. In that way was she able to realise herself, she became free, finally… she was able to give seeds and send them with the flow of the river to meet the world…

I have been a tree whole my life, my family name means oak in Estonian. When I was a little girl I was called acorn – an oak seed. Perhaps this is why I feel so close to those writers, why I feel so close to nature.

In this blogg I will meet myself and the world around me. I have no idea where it will lead or who is coming to join me during this journey of life, the virtual life.  I will send out the first seeds.  I have grown and become a young oak tree by now…