Sadness and the tears of rain
… there is a dragon game in the forests tonigt…
Sometimes it seems so hard to believe that dragons and angels do exist. It is as hard as to believe in other times that human beings are natural part of the life on Earth. Realities may vary tremendously, it all depends on you angle, it is always to do with the perspective one is taking.
Ever since I was a little girl I was told to be an acorn – an oak to be… My father was the big and strong oak. Me and my brother we were called to be the young acorns. I was always looking at my father and pride filled my small acorn heart. I knew that one day I would be as strong and wise as him.
Me and my brother we were always playing by the sea, running in the forests and climbing the trees. Nature was a very natural playground for us. We drank out of the streams, ate everything that we found eatable, met the animals and birds with the respect and care. We had our own tracks and places in the forest. As we did not have any toys except the ones we made ourselves with the ordinary tools like knives and saw were we forced to be creative, use what the nature had to offer.
It was not easy for me to return to the kindergarten or even worse to the school. I never understood the concept of order and following the instructions of the angry looking teachers. I was not an exemplary student also because I could not read a word before I came to school. I was like a small frightened acorn starting at the soviet school where there were very precise expectations towards the results and ways of behaving. I never liked the system I do not even like it today, it is not developed for young acorns to become wise and strong oaks. The schools are more to the ones who want to be small humans without the great ideas without creativity and will to become old and wise, perhaps wisest of all.
By now I have learned to act more like a civilised person, I have learned to read and write and I actually love it a lot. I have learned to hold back the comments and not to act when I would like to. I have learned what is proper and what I should never do. There have been loads of rules and regulations and ways of behaviour I have learned by now.
Years have gone. I stand here all alone. My brother and father they are gone. Some birds made their nests and fed nestlings here. I stand and wave my leaves in the wind. The mushrooms grow near my roots. I try to protect them all as good as I can from the rain and some dangerous animals. But now the leaves are turning yellow and the birds get ready to fly away. I shall fall a sleep and wake up again in spring…
…there is a Dragon game at the forest tonight…
Am I human, am I dragon or am I an angel? No. I am to be an oak. Strong and wise… I will sing to the world and all of those who will pass me in the dark forests tonight. I will just stand aside frightened of the life, frightened of the movements and loud voices but keep on singing my own song.
The dangerous dragons and beautiful angels, the small humans fragile and serious they all hear me singing in the darkness. The real life is around me but still I am so far…
…there is a dragon game in the forest tonight…
Is there a place for me in the game? What is my place in the game of life?